


Rule of Acquisition Number 28-something

by Nightwarbler



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 06:23:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8360791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightwarbler/pseuds/Nightwarbler





	

Security log, Stardate 23632.5. Security Chief Odo reporting. Things have been quiet recently, which is good. Commander Sisko has commented that things are too quiet, which I do not understand. If it is quiet, that means people on this station are finally starting to respect the law, and that is what we have been both working tirelessly for. I mentioned this to the Commander, who replied that it was just a feeling he had. Human superstition I suppose. It is unusual though, for such a peaceful shift. Usually I at least have to clear some youthful miscreants from the promenade, or stop Nog and the Commander’s son from getting themselves killed over some ill-thought out prank. Approaching 16 hours solid. Will retire, shortly after checking my files, both security and personal are in order. End log.

Odo coalesced after a good stretch and rest. He yawned, a tic he had picked up from some human or another. Probably Bashir. So often in the canteen he would see him yawn then stretch his arms around the back of the sofa. Oddly, Odo had only seen him do this when he was with company. It seemed quite antisocial, spreading himself about left and right when there were people about. It was almost as if Odo wasn’t the only amorphous fluid on Deep Space Nine. Odo smirked. This was another inherited habit, this time from Kira Nerys. He would put more of these little asides into his logs, but feared it would seem unprofessional. Worse still, it could harm the fragile peace he had worked so hard to build and maintain. Those thoughts vanished as he checked the time. Stardate 23632.5. Exactly the same as before he checked his files and turned in. Checked his files…  
Something didn’t seem right. Odo checked his computer. Something in the interface seemed off, some shoddy imitation of the crisp letters and numbers he was used to. There was something a little rushed and desperate about it all. Nevertheless, it must have seemed believable at the time – he’d put his information in.  
“Computer… tell me the current Stardate,” Odo murmured. He hoped it might be a glitch of some kind, a stuck screen that needed refreshing.  
“23632.5,” it replied in a raspy voice. He had read about time loops before. On some iterations of the Enterprise they seemed to spring up once every few weeks. But that is the near-impossible explanation. Simpler ones needed testing out first. Odo was methodical in this manner. He was quite proud of his efforts to bring logic to crime fighting. To him it felt like a fresh approach, given his experience as the iron fist of the old Cardassian regime.  
That definitely wasn’t a human voice. It had a familiar quality. Odo thought for a moment. He had some horrible suspicions. He needed to confirm or deny them.  
“Computer…,” Odo growled slowly, “What is Ferengi Rule of Acquisition Number 212?”  
“A good lie is easier to believe than the truth,” the Computer replied, its voice now clearly Ferengi.  
“Indeed… Computer? End Program.”  
Odo’s room disappeared. In its place was a grid of orange on black. A holosuite. Odo stormed out. Just as he thought. He emerged in Quark’s bar. Quark and Rom were busy extorting money from the latest bunch of visitors to the station. Fools, he thought.  
“Well, if it isn’t our Chief of Security? You’ve come round to using one of my holosuites at last?” Quark said with a grin.  
He walked right past the Dabo girls and drunks crowding round the bar and grabbed Quark by the ear.  
“What did you do with it?”  
“My computer! My files! You got me to input my security information… who are you selling it to? Maquis? Dominion? Klingons? Cardassians? Or are you doing this just because you’d love to spend the rest of your life in a cell?”  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about! I swear!” Quark writhed and squirmed.  
“I’m sure it wouldn’t surprise you that I don’t believe you, Quark,” Odo growled, “you’ve not exactly been a model citizen, and I found myself all of a sudden waking up in a fake room in your holosuites. In your bar. That you own. Who else am I supposed to charge, hmm? Morn? Do you think behind that stony face lies a criminal genius?”  
Morn grunted.  
“Maybe… could… could be Odo! Tell you what, I’ll get you a drink. On the house. Five drinks! Latinum!”  
“I don’t want your bribes! Delete whatever you’ve found, and I’ll think about going easy on you.”  
“You will? Oh thank you, Odo. Thank you”  
“I said I would think about it.”  
Quark went to his computer. He flicked through the logs of several holosuites. Some were explicit, others violent. He found the odd looking programme that briefly housed Odo and wiped all records of it.  
“Done”  
“Very well. Now, all you have to do is tell me why.”  
“Why? Well, I still protest my innocence. I wouldn’t do that to you!”  
“Wouldn’t you, Quark?”  
“Good customers are as rare as latinum… treasure them”  
“I’m a terrible customer. Tell me or I’ll get even worse.”  
Quark looked around for something, anything. A little prompt, a prop to use to tell the story good enough for him to get away. Then his eyes met Rom’s. He was shaking and sweating. This was nothing new of course. He was a deeply unpleasant creature, even for a Ferengi. But there was something else going on. There was fear in his eyes, and a little shame too. Quark turned back to Odo.  
“You’re right. You remember Lursa? And B’Etor?”  
“Don’t remind me. They put you up to this?”  
“Oh yes. They’re always looking for a way to get ahead. I admire it. They’re almost like Ferengi in a way. They paid me to find a security loophole. I thought your clearances would suffice.”  
“The pay was good, I assume?”  
“Ten bars- twenty bars of gold-pressed latinum!”  
“How did you get me from my room to the suite?”  
Quark looked at Rom, who made a scooping motion.  
“I ladled you.”  
“You… ladled me?”  
“Yup. Into a decanter.”  
“What was in it before?”  
“Synthehol. Only the finest, I assure you.”  
“As if that makes it better.”  
“Well, are you satisfied?”  
“Don’t do anything disreputable for a month… or I will shut this place down and blow you out an airlock.”  
“That’s a yes, then.”  
“Goodbye Quark.”  
Quark’s ears were free at last.  
Odo turned around and went back to his real quarters.  
Quark exhaled and massaged his sore lobes until that started to garner odd looks from those familiar with Ferengi erogenous zones.  
He walked up to his brother and whispered “you owe me one.”  
“How many does that make now?” Rom asked glumly.  
“I’ve lost count.”  
“Paying you back’s going to take a while.”  
“A creditor can’t demand payment if he doesn’t keep track of his lending.”  
“Is that a rule?”  
“No, but it should be. Has a nice ring to it. Remember it if one more tourist asks to open a tab.”  
Rom forgot this would-be rule within five minutes, but he didn’t forget that day for a long while.

Security log, supplemental. Files are secure. Keeping an eye out for any suspicious Klingon ships. So far, nothing. I will be taking an extended rest. The experience of today has shaken me somewhat. I have checked and re-checked everything in this room. Almost did throw that Ferengi out of the airlock, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to do it. Even if he had it coming since he came to the station, I knew his confession meant nothing. Lursa and B’Etor haven’t been in touch in months. He stuck up for Rom, even when his life was at stake. That was a surprise. I think I might have seen my first glimpse of Ferengi decency. I hope to see it again. End log.


End file.
